


Dumbshit, Straight A’s, Gangster, President

by mochivaytion



Series: one day series (English) [1]
Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: M/M, Trainwreck, Translated, chatfic, i think, i'll try my best at translation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2018-12-04 10:35:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 8,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11553399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochivaytion/pseuds/mochivaytion
Summary: He Tian created a chat group.He Tian invited Red Head, Jian^2, and Puffed into the group.He Tian renamed the group as Dumbshit, Straight A’s, Gangster, President.





	1. Red Head's Hubby

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [脑残、学霸、混混、总裁](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11496804) by [mochivaytion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochivaytion/pseuds/mochivaytion). 



> This is a translation of a work that I'm doing in Mandarin.  
> I started this chatfic in Mandarin cuz I've been reading it in Mandarin since the beginning and am used to the Chinese vocabulary, as well as the various terms the characters use.
> 
> So, I've decided to give it a go in English, as well as to test my translating abilities lol
> 
> And, here you go! Enjoy!

_He Tian created a chat group._

_He Tian invited Red Head, Jian^2, and Puffed into the group._

_He Tian renamed the group as Dumbshit, Straight A’s, Gangster, President._

 

He Tian                   : hey guys

Red Head                : what the fuck is this?!

Jian^2                    : what?! He Tian you lookin for a fite?!

Puffed                     : Um…

Puffed                     : Why is it only He Tian using his real name?

He Tian                   : *laughs*

Jian^2                     : !!!

Jian^2                     : no wonder you’re a straight A student! Noticing the unnoticeable!

Jian^2                     : change it!!

Red Head                : bitch you’d better fucking change it

_He Tian changed his nickname to Le President._

Red Head                : wtf?!!

_Le President changed his nickname to Red Head’s Hubby._

Red Head                : FUCK YOU!

Red Head’s Hubby  : It will be me fucking you instead

Jian^2                     : Wow, how sweet *pukes*

Jian^2                     : Zhan Xi Xi why not we try this as well

Puffed                     : *pukes*

 

 


	2. Meeting the Mother-In-Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Head : get the fuck out!
> 
> Red Head’s Hubby : nah
> 
> Red Head’s Hubby : I’ll just meet my mother-in-law straight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these are prettay short and I try not to stray much from my original so.... am sorry if it sounded weird...

Red Head                : Zhan Zheng Xi, you done with your meth?

Puffed                     : What?

Red Head                : Math***

Puffed                     : Ah

Puffed                     : The old man’s work?

Puffed                     : Yeah I’m done.

Red Head                : snap a pic and lemme copy em

Puffed                     : Do it yourself.

Red Head                : fuck! seriously? I cooked for you guys and this is how I get treated?!

Puffed                     : @Red Head’s Hubby Look at your husband

Red Head                : *middle finger emoji*

Red Head’s Hubby   : Beg me and I’ll give you the answers pronto

Red Head                : who tf would beg you

Red Head                : aint cooking for anyone next time!

Red Head                : get the fuck out!

Red Head’s Hubby   : nah

Red Head’s Hubby   : I’ll just meet my mother-in-law straight

Red Head                : WHAT THE BLOODY FLYING FUCK

Puffed                     : Mother-in-law?

Jian^2                     : you’ve met the parent???

Jian^2                     : congrats!!!

Jian^2                     : when will the wedding be?

Puffed                     : Jian Yi……

Red Head’s Hubby   : Don’t worry we will rmb to pass you guys the invitation cards

Jian^2                     : wokays!!

Red Head                : wtf! why are you at my place?!

Red Head’s Hubby   : Your mum invited me in

Red Head                : FUCK OFF!!!

Red Head’s Hubby   : *scoffs*

Jian^2                     : eh Zhan Xi Xi I also wanna go 2 yr place

Puffed                     : Come over then

Puffed                     : My mum prepared fried chicken today

Jian^2                     : omw!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> opinions and ideas are more than welcomed :D


	3. Token of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jian^2 : Zhan Xi Xi when will you give me a token of your love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a freaking short chapter I know but I don't wanna care

Jian^2                     : redhead

Red Head                : speak

Jian^2                     : I wanted to ask

Jian^2                     : abt the piercing u hv on yr right ear

Jian^2                     : since when

Jian^2                     : I rmbed u nvr really liked wearing em

Puffed                     : I also wanted to ask about it

Red Head                : …………

_Red Head left the group chat._

Jian^2                     : ??

Puffed                     : What happened?

Red Head’s Hubby   : It's a token of love duh.

_Red Head’s Hubby added Red Head into the group chat._

Red Head                : TOKEN OF LOVE MY ASS!!

Jian^2                     : ngawww

Jian^2                     : don’t b shyyyy

Puffed                     : I mean yeah

Puffed                     : Having something like it feels really nice to

Jian^2                     : Zhan Xi Xi when will you give me a token of your love?

_Puffed left the group chat._

Jian^2                     : SHit…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm done for today :'D


	4. Going Out of Topic...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Head : Didn’t I told you not to ask?!
> 
> Red Head’s Hubby : What?
> 
> Red Head’s Hubby : Why should I listen to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I decided to do another chapter

Red Head’s Hubby : So have you guys made out and up?

Red Head               : !!!

Red Head               : Didn’t I told you not to ask?!

Red Head’s Hubby : What?

Red Head’s Hubby : Why should I listen to you

Red Head’s Hubby : And weren’t you interested in knowing?

_Red Head changed his nickname to: The President’s Man._

_The President’s Man changed his nickname to: HIS Man._

HIS Man                 : I’d be your slave willingly, Mr. President.

Red Head’s Hubby : Good

Red Head’s Hubby : You should’ve done this much earlier.

Puffed                    : Made out?

Puffed                    : The day I’ll make out with him is the day he clarifies every single shit.

Red Head’s Hubby : Jian Yi you’re running out of time you better spill out everything

Red Head’s Hubby : We’re waiting for your wedding invitation

Puffed                    : *scoffs*

HIS Man                 : we?

HIS Man                 : …………

HIS Man                 : !!!!!!!!!

HIS Man                 : GDI

HIS Man                 : HE TIAN

HIS Man                 : I left my phone for bloody few minutes

HIS Man                 : AND THIS?!!!!

HIS Man                 : U MESSED WIT MY PHONE

HIS Man                 : 2 FULFIL YR PRIDE ON HAVING ME BOWING 2 YOU?!!!!

HIS Man                 : SCREW YOU!!!!!!!!!

_HIS Man changed his nickname to: Your Dad._

Your Dad               : fuck you piece of shit

Your Dad               : wanna die?

Red Head’s Hubby : Oops busted

Your Dad               : FUCK OFF!

Jian^2                    : HT you’re interested in SM?

Red Head’s Hubby : Yeah it’s not that bad

_Your Dad left the group chat._

Jian^2                    : yikes

Jian^2                    : Redhead is weak

Puffed                    : You speak as though you’re any better

Jian^2                    : its only SM

Jian^2                    : lets ged on 2it!

_Puffed left the group chat._

Jian^2                    : fuck……

Red Head’s Hubby : *scoffs*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the next chapter as well


	5. Threat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jian^2 : joke?
> 
> Jian^2 : what joke?
> 
> Jian^2 : this is a bloody threat
> 
> Puffed : This is a threat +1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my fav chapter in English so have fun :D

Red Head’s Hubby  : @Puffed Zhan Zheng Xi

Red Head’s Hubby  : Where did you have your haircut?

Puffed                    : Why?

Red Head’s Hubby  :  _Don’t Close Mountain_ had been looking at you

Red Head’s Hubby  : Your hair**

Red Head’s Hubby  : Was thinking of getting a similar cut so that he would look at me more

Your Dad                : what the flying fuck?!

Your Dad                : please im not that gay

Your Dad                : not for you

Your Dad                : short hair is fuckin refreshing do you even know that

Your Dad                : unlike you

Your Dad                : your face basically screams: _I’m a creep_

Red Head’s Hubby  : Creep?

Red Head’s Hubby  : Who could be worthy of “creep” other than She Li?

Your Dad                : …………

Your Dad                : that guy’s not human so he’s not counted

Jian^2                     : He Tian

Jian^2                     : WHO ARE YOU TO SPEAK!

Jian^2                     : yr brother is one helluva freak okay!!

Puffed                     : He has a brother?

Your Dad                : he has a brother?

_Red Head’s Hubby left the group chat._

Your Dad                : wtf?!!!!

Puffed                     : Hmm?

Puffed                     : Looks like I became the group’s admin by default

Jian^2                     : wert??

Jian^2                     : which means that we could add ppl in this gc?!

Puffed                     : No.

Jian^2                     : WHAI

Puffed                     : Your annoyance knows no bounds.

Puffed                     : Any other normal human would be frightened

Jian^2                     : ngaw purr-lease I wont

Puffed                     : Out. Now.

_Puffed added Red Head’s Hubby into the group._

Puffed                     : He Tian

Puffed                     : You still owe us an explanation.

Your Dad                : u nvr let me knw tht u hv a brother

Your Dad                : n u dare call yrself as my man?!

Your Dad                : *scoffs*

_Red Head’s Hubby changed his nickname to: Your Dad’s Master._

Your Dad’s Master  : I’m your master from now on

Your Dad’s Master  : Being your man is terrible

Your Dad’s Master  : Like, I need to look at your grumpy face and listen to your every whims

Your Dad’s Master  : Might as well rule and reign over your body and life

Your Dad’s Master  : Whips, candles, handcuffs are all prepared

Your Dad’s Master  : When are you coming over?

_Your Dad left the group chat._

Your Dad’s Master  : Oh dear… He doesn’t seem to get the joke

Jian^2                     : joke?

Jian^2                     : what joke?

Jian^2                     : this is a bloody threat

Puffed                     : This is a threat +1

Puffed                     : Apologize

Puffed                     : Now.

Your Dad’s Master   : Tsk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone read SQ Tamen De Gushi by Tan Jiu?
> 
> And also... Should I focus on translating or writing this with me thinking in English? (main question)


	6. Cinderella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jian^2 : u gonna sleep???
> 
> Jian^2 : R U FUCKIN KIFDIN ME?!!!
> 
> Jian^2 : its only 12!!!!
> 
> Jian^2 : u think u Cinderella?!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates as I was attending a con AND IT WAS A BLAST :D
> 
> BUT HERE I AM, FOR I HAVE RETURNED!!!
> 
> ENJOY!! :D

Puffed                   : @ Your Dad’s Master

Puffed                   : He Tian

Your Dad’s Master : Speak

Puffed                   : How did your brother know about Jian Yi

Puffed                   : What does your brother do?

Your Dad’s Master : Sleeping with women.

Puffed                   : ……

Jian^2                   : ……

_Your Dad changed his nickname to: Redhead._

Redhead                : ……

Your Dad’s Master : I’m just telling the truth.

Jian^2                   : he slept wit men too rite

Jian^2                   : looking at you

Jian^2                   : yr bro must have brought you up real bad

Redhead               : nah

Redhead               : prolly he was d bad influence

Puffed                   : I’m not sure if I want to know where this chat is going.

Jian^2                   : rmb i was once targeted by few dudes

Jian^2                   : then u tried saving me?

Jian^2                   : his brother was one of them

Puffed                   : Fuck.

Puffed                   : Which one?

Jian^2                   : his hair was as short as Redhead’s but it’s black

Puffed                   : The one who looks freakishly scary

Puffed                   : Like Hades?

Jian^2                   : more like Anubis

Jian^2                   : bt yeah

Jian^2                   : dat’s him

Puffed                   : I have so many questions

Puffed                   : You knowing about Anubis is one of them

Puffed                   : But first.

Puffed                   : He Tian

Puffed                   : Get your brother out

Puffed                   : I’m

Puffed                   : Gonna

Puffed                   : Fucking

Puffed                   : Wreck

Puffed                   : Him

Puffed                   : .

Jian^2                   : ZHAN XI XI!!!!!

Jian^2                   : me so touched!!!

Redhead               : He Tian

Redhead               : u frm a family of a syndicate group?

_Your Dad’s Master changed his nickname to: Prez_

Prez                      : You sure you wanna know?

Redhead               : ?

Redhead               : ws i askin smth earlier?

Redhead               : no idea

Prez                      : Heh.

 

 

Puffed                  : @Prez He Tian

Puffed                  : You still owe us a fucking answer.

Puffed                  : What does your brother do

Prez                     : Don’t know

Prez                     : Don’t bother

Prez                     : Don’t care

Prez                     : Heading to bed now

Jian^2                  : bed??

Jian^2                  : with who???

Prez                     : With my right hand?

Prez                     : And pillows?

Jian^2                  : u gonna sleep???

Jian^2                  : R U FUCKIN KIFDIN ME?!!!

Jian^2                  : its only 12!!!!

Jian^2                  : u think u Cinderella?!!!

Jian^2                  : u always go home earliest at 4am okay

Jian^2                  : n nw u goin 2 slp

Jian^2                  : SERIUS?!!

Redhead              : heh

Redhead              : scum

Redhead              : piece of shit

Jian^2                  : @Prez

Jian^2                  : yr wife’s pissed

Jian^2                  : g’luck

Puffed                  : I think Redhead’s upset that he’s going to sleep with his right hand instead of him.

_Redhead left the group chat._

Prez                     : Heh.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm more amazed at a lot more of shit so... i'll keep them as ideas to be written in the future XD


	7. Nickname

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jian^2 : Zhan Xi Xi!!!
> 
> Puffed : What
> 
> Jian^2 : i feel like changing my nickname :P
> 
> Puffed : Change it then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So..... another chapter translated :D
> 
> I enjoyed writing this chapter in both Mandarin and English so.....
> 
> Here you go!!! *feeds fic*

Jian^2                 : Zhan Xi Xi!!!

Puffed                 : What

Jian^2                 : i feel like changing my nickname :P

Puffed                 : Change it then

Jian^2                 : but idk wht 2 chg in2

Prez                    : White head.

Prez                    : It would be a nice match with Don’t Close Mountain

Redhead             : wtf

Redhead             : playin games rite nw eh

Redhead             : at least im x like sm1

Redhead             : self-acclaimed president

Redhead             : n all he does was playing with his phone and women

Prez                    : I do admit that I play with my phone

Prez                    : But I do not, and have no interest in playing with women.

Prez                    : Playing with you sounds fine though.

Redhead             : *middle finger emoji*

Jian^2                 : guys, you wanna flirt

Jian^2                 : go elsewhere

Jian^2                 : i needa think this thru seriously

Prez                    : I told you

Prez                    : White head

Puffed                 : That does sound a bit right

Jian^2                 : but then

Jian^2                 : talking about white head

Jian^2                 : the first person that came into my head

Jian^2                 : Sakurai Takahiro

Puffed                 : Didn’t he say not to relate him with white haired characters?

Jian^2                 : BUT STILL!!!!

Jian^2                 : i mean yeah but still

Jian^2                 : its quite diff 2 x relate with him

Puffed                 : True that

Puffed                 : Want him to voice you?

Puffed                 : Though I think it’s not worth it

Puffed                 : Like

Puffed                 : A famous Japanese voice actor voicing for a dumbass like you?

Puffed                 : Nah not worth it.

Prez                    : Not worth it at all.

Jian^2                 : …………

Jian^2                 : go fuck yourself

_Jian^2 changed his nickname to: A Whitehead that’s not voiced by Sakurai._

Prez                    : Too long

Puffed                 : Too long

Redhead             : wads d use?

Redhead             : they r supposed 2 b short

_A Whitehead that’s not voiced by Sakurai changed his nickname to: Whitehead._

Whitehead          : He Tian yr turn

Prez                    : Not bad.

Prez                    : I should change mine too.

_Prez changed his nickname to Blackie._

Blackie                : Don’t think I’m dumb enough to change it to blackhead

Whitehead          : tsk

Whitehead          : fuck u

Blackie               : You don’t stand a chance.

Puffed                : We all know that

Whitehead          : Zhan Xi Xi!!!

Whitehead          : QAQ

_Puffed changed his nickname to: Golden Retriever._

Whitehead          : !!!

Whitehead          : ive nw gt d perfect one!!!

_Whitehead changed his nickname to: White Sadaharu._

Golden Retriever             : That suits you.

White Sadaharu              : hehex

Golden Retriever             : That wasn’t a praise.

White Sadaharu              : tsk

_Blackie changed his nickname to: Black Rottweiler._

Golden Retriever             : That seems right.

White Sadaharu              : NOOOOOOOOO

White Sadaharu              : Zhan Xi Xi hv you gone blind?!!

White Sadaharu              : Rottweilers r fuckin hot okay!!

Black Rottweiler              : Heh.

Black Rottweiler              : Don’t Close Mountain

Black Rottweiler              : You’re the only one left

Black Rottweiler              : Don’t tell me you’re google-ing dog breeds rn

Redhead                         : o0o

_Redhead changed his nickname to: Red Setter._

White Sadaharu              : tht’s x a dog!!

White Sadaharu              : hw dumb could you be

White Sadaharu              : haikyuu is good but

White Sadaharu              : kenma is a cat.

Red Setter                      : *scoffs*

Red Setter                      : <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_Setter>

Golden Retriever             : Jian Yi

Golden Retriever             : I’m appalled

Golden Retriever             : At how dumb could you be.

White Sadaharu              : …………

Black Rottweiler              : But then

Black Rottweiler              : The Red Setter is actually amicable and affectionate

Black Rottweiler              : You aren’t.

White Sadaharu              : LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Red Setter                      : YOU DICK

White Sadaharu              : He Tian r u sayin tht u want yr bf 2 b affectionate with u?

Black Rottweiler              : Yeah

Red Setter                      : utter bullshit.

Black Rottweiler              : I stopped with the candles, whips and the rest of the toys

Black Rottweiler              : There’s just only a pair of handcuffs.

_Red Setter left the group chat._

Golden Retriever             : You are just terrible.

Black Rottweiler              : Heh.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry if I annoyed or pissed off any Sakurai fans. I'm a big fan of him, and although he told to not relate him to characters.... it's actually rather hard.. :/  
> But still, I love him none the less! (Although I'm more of a Yusa fan *COUGHS*)
> 
> Next, about Sadaharu.... Err.... Let it be lah... Gintama is basically a universe with all sorts of universe so I'm just gonna insert Sadaharu here.
> 
> Third, I'm a big fan of Haikyuu so yeah you guys could get the reference here LOL
> 
>  
> 
> Final thing. I don't think I'm capable of doing translation, or at least, the exact translation. The gags are gone if I tried translating them exactly, so what I would do is either I take the main theme, or I create a new chapter that doesn't align with the original chatfic. I still need time to process them characters in English, and will be taking quite some time. So I apologize in advance if updates are slow af. Work is really busy too so...... Good luck to me and thanks for sticking with me!! :D


	8. Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> White Sadaharu : i jz realized
> 
> White Sadaharu : He Tian could totes pull off the evil queen look
> 
> White Sadaharu : “Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who’s the fliest of them all”
> 
> White Sadaharu : AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeap that's Christina Aguilera's Vanity. I love that song.
> 
> I tried adding some shitty elements and here it is ahahahahahaha

White Sadaharu              : guys

White Sadaharu              : if He Tian is Cinderella

White Sadaharu              : wht r we?

White Sadaharu              : tho i think Redhead is Little Red Riding Hood

White Sadaharu              : except hes nt little

White Sadaharu              : n then Zhan Xi Xi

White Sadaharu              : RAPUNZEL!!!

White Sadaharu              : bt u jz cut yr hair

White Sadaharu              : :(

Golden Retriever            : …………

Golden Retriever            : I have so much to say

Golden Retriever            : But first

Golden Retriever            : Gender.

White Sadaharu              : ah

White Sadaharu              : that

White Sadaharu              : lets kip tht aside 4 nw

White Sadaharu              : its nt important

White Sadaharu              : its nvr important

White Sadaharu              : !!!!!

White Sadaharu              : i jz realized

White Sadaharu              : He Tian could totes pull off the evil queen look

White Sadaharu              : “Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who’s the fliest of them all”

White Sadaharu              : AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Golden Retriever            :

Golden Retriever            : @Black Rottweiler

White Sadaharu              : whai u tag him?

Golden Retriever            : He knows you’re stupid

Golden Retriever            : But I need him to evaluate the extent of your stupidity.

White Sadaharu              : ZHAN XI XI HOW CUD U?!! OAQ

Golden Retriever            : Heh

 

Red Setter                      : wtf?!!

Red Setter                      : who d hell would be red riding hood?!!

Red Setter                      : n sure af i won be lil!!

Red Setter                      : fuck yall!!

White Sadaharu              : oh!!

White Sadaharu              : hes online!!!

Golden Retriever            : Yo

Golden Retriever            : Where’s He Tian?

Red Setter                      :

Red Setter                      : i’ll go wake him up

Golden Retriever            : Wake him up?

White Sadaharu              : aww

White Sadaharu              : nvr knew u guys give each other morning calls

White Sadaharu              : maybe it’s afternoon call now

Golden Retriever            : Are you sure it’s a call

Golden Retriever            : Redhead

Golden Retriever            : Where’s He Tian

Black Rottweiler             : I heard someone was calling for me

Black Rottweiler             : The summoning didn’t really work well though

Black Rottweiler             : I’m in my room btw

Golden Retriever            : Redhead?

Black Rottweiler             : In my room as well

Golden Retriever            : Knew it.

White Sahararu               : !!!!!!!

White Sadaharu              : HOW DID YOU KNOW?!!!

Golden Retriever            : It’s blatantly obvious.

Golden Retriever            : He Tian

Golden Retriever            : I’m seriously amazed at how your brother suck

Golden Retriever            : This white haired is basically a three years’ old

Golden Retriever            : How could he fail in catching him

Black Rottweiler             : Well

Black Rottweiler             : You were there

Black Rottweiler             : And I finally finished reading the convo

Black Rottweiler             : Redhead is definitely our Little Red Riding Hood

Black Rottweiler             : And I’m the Big Bad Wolf

Golden Retriever            : Now that I think of it

Golden Retriever            : The Big Bad Wolf appeared in quite a lot of stories

White Sadaharu              : like…?

Red Setter                      : The Three Little Pigs

White Sadaharu              : whts tht story abt?

Black Rottweiler             : How three little pigs get eaten up by the big bad wolf

Black Rottweiler             : And I’m the BIG BAD WOLF

Black Rottweiler             : *grins*

Red Setter                      : fuck u

Red Setter                      : o0o!!

Golden Retriever            : But then…

Golden Retriever            : I remembered the wolf died of exhaustion

Red Setter                      : BURN!!!!

White Sadaharu              : WOI

White Sadaharu              : u’re d Cinderella ok?

Golden Retriever            : Gender.

White Sadaharu             : THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM

Golden Retriever            : Yeah

Golden Retriever            : That’s not the problem

Golden Retriever            : Your brain is the problem.

Red Setter                      : 4 once

Red Setter                      : i agree to this

Black Rottweiler             : Same.

Black Rottweiler             : Although I have been agreeing with Zhan Zheng Xi for quite some time.

Golden Retriever            : Let me tell you guys something

Golden Retriever            : We were at a shop for a part-time job

Golden Retriever            : And we needed to wear uniforms

Golden Retriever            : I was wearing waiter’s clothings

Golden Retriever            : He was wearing a maid’s

Red Setter                      : pictures

Red Setter                      : or it nvr happened

Black Rottweiler             : I’d like to see that too

Golden Retriever            : Didn’t take them

Red Setter                      : tsk

Red Setter                      : useless

Black Rottweiler             : I can’t believe you gave up on such a wonderful blackmail material

Golden Retriever            : Let me continue

Black Rottweiler             : Go on.

Golden Retriever            : This shit was sitting with his legs open

Golden Retriever            : So this girl told him

Golden Retriever            : “Big sister, you should sit with your legs closed.”

Golden Retriever            : Guess what tf this shit did?

Red Setter                      : “im a fuckin he”

Black Rottweiler             : Pulled up the skirt.

Golden Retriever            : One point for He Tian

Golden Retriever            : Could you imagine

Golden Retriever            : How horrified that girl was??

White Sadaharu              : showing it is so much easier!

White Sadaharu              : and obvious duh

Golden Retriever            : SHE’S A PRIMARY SCHOOL KID

Golden Retriever            : DO YOU HAVE THE FUCKING NEED??

White Sadaharu             : I do.

_Golden Retriever has left the group chat._

White Sadaharu              : ZHAN XI XI!!!

White Sadaharu              : IM SO SORRY!!!!!

White Sadaharu              : COME BACK!!!

Red Setter                      : Come back, baby come back to me

Red Setter                      : HAHAHA EAT THAT YOU SHIT

Black Rottweiler             : Oho?

Black Rottweiler             : Looks like I’m the admin again

Red Setter                      : tch

Red Setter                      : shaddap 4 fucks sake

White Sadaharu              : show off

White Sadaharu              : quick

White Sadaharu              : add my hubby in

White Sadaharu              : i cnt let him roam out there alone

_Black Rottweiler added Golden Retriever into the group chat._

Golden Retriever            : Hubby?

Golden Retriever            : Heh.

_Golden Retriever has left the group chat._

White Sadaharu              : ZHAN XI XI!!!!!

White Sadaharu              : QAQ!!

Red Setter                      : i’ve no fuckin idea whr dis convo is heading

Black Rottweiler             : Get used to it then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I'll add in some weird songs or what in the future. Okay i have a new idea when i'm typing this. i'm a genius ahahahaha
> 
> idk when will the next chap be out but thanks for reading!!


	9. Fanfiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Golden Retriever : Can somebody please explain
> 
> Golden Retriever : Why are there so many weird songs and videos
> 
> Golden Retriever : On YouTube

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk why and how did I came up with this. Should I be disappointed with myself lol

Golden Retriever             : Can somebody please explain

Golden Retriever             : Why are there so many weird songs and videos

Golden Retriever             : On YouTube

White Sadaharu               : ONE TWO SEVEN THREE DOWN DA ROCKEFELLER STREET

_Golden Retriever left the group chat._

White Sadaharu               : LIFE IS MARCHIN ON DO YOU FEEL THAT

White Sadaharu               : ONE TWO SEVEN THREE DOWN DA ROCKEFELLER STREET

White Sadaharu               : EVERYTHIN IZ MOA THAN SURREAL

_Red Setter left the group chat._

White Sadaharu               : PEOPLE SING ALONG WIT ME!!!!

White Sadaharu               : ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT

White Sadaharu               : LETS GO, LETS GO!!!!

_Black Rottweiler removed White Sadaharu from the group chat._

_Black Rottweiler added Golden Retriever, Red Setter into the group chat._

Black Rottweiler              : What happened?

Golden Retriever             : Good lord

Golden Retriever             : This dude

Golden Retriever             : Is ruined.

Black Rottweiler              : That’s why I’m asking

Black Rottweiler              : What happened

Golden Retriever             : He was busy

Golden Retriever             : Reading fanfiction

Golden Retriever             : Which I was surprised about

Red Setter                       : he reads fanfic???

Red Setter                       : HE READS???!!!

Red Setter                       : the sun wil b rising frm d west tmr

Golden Retriever             : Sadly it did not happened

Golden Retriever             : Even when it started few weeks ago.

Black Rottweiler              : Redhead don’t butt in

Black Rottweiler              : Zheng Xi, continue.

Golden Retriever             : He was reading a particular fic called [Regrets™](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10163207/chapters/24014655)

Golden Retriever             : And he got to know the existence of Eurovision Song Contest.

Black Rottweiler              : Oh.

Red Setter                       : What’s that?

Golden Retriever             : Baidu it up.

Red Setter                       : _Oh._

Golden Retriever             : Yes.

Golden Retriever             : I have nothing against it

Golden Retriever             : ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AGAINST IT

Golden Retriever             : But

Golden Retriever             : He made a playlist and was on loop

Golden Retriever             : For three days

Golden Retriever             : And then

Golden Retriever             : He was introduced to Osu!

Golden Retriever             :

Black Rottweiler              : He started playing it?

Golden Retriever             : YES.

Black Rottweiler              : Redhead says that it looks very hard to play

Black Rottweiler              : He’s beside me scrolling through the videos on YouTube.

Black Rottweiler              : Oh.

Black Rottweiler              : _Oh._

Golden Retriever             : Yes.

Golden Retriever             : Get it?

Red Setter                       : <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPVIgshtOag>

Black Rottweiler              : That’s the link right?

Golden Retriever             : STOP.

Red Setter                       : jian yi is d type of person who wl put it on loop

Golden Retriever             : HE TRIED DRAGGING ME TO DO THE POSING AS WELL

Golden Retriever             : I mean I’m not against him having fun

Golden Retriever             : BUT WE WERE AT THE POOL

Golden Retriever             : AND HE WAS PLAYING IT AT MAX VOLUME

Golden Retriever             : CHILDREN AND PARENTS WERE LOOKING AT HIM AND JUDGING ME

Golden Retriever             : End me.

Black Rottweiler              : Good luck.

Black Rottweiler              : How did you get out of there?

Golden Retriever             : I left him there to fend for himself.

Golden Retriever             : And now he’s at my door demanding to be added back into the group chat.

Black Rottweiler              : He called earlier

Black Rottweiler              : The both of us.

Black Rottweiler              : I blocked his number.

Red Setter                       : my phone is out of batt

Golden Retriever             : God save me.

Black Rottweiler              : Amen.

Red Setter                       : Amen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are dying WHAI TALK TO ME PLEASE
> 
> ps: If you guys haven't read Powerhh's fics before, I strongly recommend you guys to. It's insanely hilarious, and inspiring :D


	10. Private Message (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He Tian : So what is it that you want?
> 
> He Tian : Your sugar daddy will get them for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM BACK!!!

Redhead              : oy

He Tian               : What do you want?

He Tian               : Though it’s pretty rare for you to be privately messaging me.

He Tian               : So what is it that you want?

He Tian               : Your sugar daddy will get them for you.

Redhead              :

Redhead              : congrats u made me throw my phone across the room

Redhead              : end me

He Tian               : :)

Redhead              : fuckin disgusting

Redhead              : tch

Redhead              : bck 2 d main point

Redhead              : Jian Yi nvr confessed 2 Zhan Zheng Xi before?

He Tian               : How would I know?

He Tian               : I’m not them.

Redhead              : OI!!

Redhead              : focus!

Redhead              : dont thnk of runnin away

Redhead              : yu knw doncha

He Tian               : How are you so confident in me knowing it?

Redhead              : cuz u’re smart.

He Tian               :

He Tian               : I’m flattered

He Tian               : I can’t believe Don’t Close Mountain praised me!

Redhead              :

He Tian               : So

He Tian               : You’ve finally decided to admit to your man’s ability?

Redhead              : yes yes yes u a man

Redhead              : cn we get bck 2 d main pt now?

He Tian               : Tsk tsk tsk.

He Tian               : Yes, I’m biologically a man

He Tian               : But more than that

He Tian               : I’m YOUR man.

Redhead              :

Redhead              : fml

Redhead              : neways

Redhead              : whats goin on with those 2

Redhead              : ?

He Tian               : Not sure

He Tian               : Tho I think these two are bound to be together

Redhead              : u sure?

He Tian               : Yeah

He Tian               : Just like the both of us

Redhead              : _just like the both of us_ MY ASS

He Tian               : Aww come on

He Tian               : Don’t be embarrassed

He Tian               : :)

Redhead              : fuckin sadist

He Tian               : Thanks for the praise

Redhead              : FUCK OFF!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating this as quick as the previous ones cuz I was waiting for Old Xian's update.
> 
> Also, this is a pretty short chapter but i'll try to update the continuation asap, hopefully this week itself :D


	11. Private Message (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He Tian : Would he think that you’re having constipation due to severe anxiety?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back yayyyyyy!!! DId anyone read the latest updates from Old Xian? Cuz I did, and I was squealing and rolling on the bed!!!
> 
> Also, WARNING: This chapter isn't exactly funny so... Sorry for ruining your expectations.

Jian^2   : He Tian

He Tian : Hmm?

He Tian : I wonder what’s wrong with it today

He Tian : People have been private messaging me.

He Tian : Although I don’t really mind it.

He Tian : So

He Tian : Speak, my child

Jian^2   : I……

Jian^2   :

Jian^2   :

Jian^2   : Zhan Xi Xi asked me if I like him

Jian^2   : how should I reply??

He Tian :

He Tian : First of all

He Tian : It took you

He Tian : Fucking

He Tian : Nine minutes

He Tian : And thirty-eight seconds

He Tian : To type

He Tian : That two fucking sentences.

Jian^2   : blease binch I’m nervous ok?!

He Tian : Poor Zhan Zheng Xi

He Tian : He had been waiting for your reply.

Jian^2   : so how m I gonna reply?!!!

He Tian : Tell him the truth then.

He Tian : What else?

He Tian : This is bound to happen eventually.

He Tian : By the way,

He Tian : Where are you hiding to message me?

Jian^2   : ……

Jian^2   : restroom

He Tian : Would he think that you’re having constipation due to severe anxiety?

Jian^2   :

Jian^2   : I uh...

Jian^2   : head out first

He Tian : Best of luck

He Tian : Hoping the best of you two

Jian^2   : gee thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uh.... Hope this drabble actually came out fine.... :|


	12. Private Message (3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jian^2 : Gentleman and gentleman
> 
> Jian^2 : I, Jian Yi
> 
> Jian^2 : Have something I would like to announce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also another not so funny chapter, but here's an update.

_Jian^2 added He Tian, Red into the group chat._

Jian^2   : Gentleman and gentleman

Jian^2   : I, Jian Yi

Jian^2   : Have something I would like to announce.

He Tian : What’s with this formality

He Tian : It’s giving me goosebumps

He Tian : Switch back to your usual chatting style please.

Red       : eh u hv nth better 2 do izzit

Red       : 1 grp chat isn’t enuf

Red       : n u HAD to make a new 1

Red       : wtf r u plotting

Jian^2   : I haf no choice ok QAQ

Jian^2   : didn want Zhan Xi Xi to read this

He Tian : What happened?

He Tian : What did he say?

He Tian : And Redhead

He Tian : Is your current nickname a reference to Pokémon Red?

Red       : whts goin on

Red       : im lost

Red       : and yeet 2 Red

He Tian : Quick summary

He Tian : Zhan Zheng Xi asked Jian Yi if he liked him.

He Tian : Jian Yi was at the restroom for at least ten minutes figuring out how to reply.

Red       : ZZX is an idiot rite?

Red       : or is he blind?

Red       : or an idiot?

Red       : maybe a blind idiot

Red       : its fuckin obvious

Red       : anyone who can see it would know that whitey is HEAD-OVER-HEELYS in LOVE with him

He Tian : Tsk tsk tsk.

He Tian : You don’t understand this, do you?

Red       : wat

He Tian : What Zhan Zheng Xi wants

He Tian : Is a clear answer.

He Tian : The relationship that is existing between them is very ambiguous

He Tian : And he needs to hear the words from Jian Yi’s mouth

He Tian : Explicitly

He Tian : Only he knows how is he supposed to treat Jian Yi

He Tian : Or interact with him.

He Tian : So Jian Yi

He Tian : What was his reply?

Jian^2   :

Jian^2   :

Jian^2   : he didn’t really say anything

Red       : HAAAAA???

Jian^2   : just….

Jian^2   : i just told him n walked out of d room

Jian^2   : it was hard 2 play cool ok?

He Tian : Play cool?

He Tian : That sounds interesting

He Tian : Details please

He Tian : I can’t imagine you playing it cool when you’re just a Sadaharu.

He Tian : So… Story us

Jian^2   :

Jian^2   : yea ok i know

Jian^2   : i could nvr play it cool

Jian^2   : d so-called-cool s a fuckin facade

Jian^2   : my hands were even trembling whn I told him i like him

Jian^2   : m only a useless sada

Jian^2   : a sada that fell for his own friend.

Jian^2   : ok?

Jian^2   : happy?

He Tian : Good that you know where you lie

He Tian : But then again

He Tian : Why didn’t you hear his reply?

Jian^2   :

Jian^2   : scared

Red       : tsk

Red       : useless

He Tian : Jian Yi

He Tian : I don’t believe Zhan Zheng Xi will not say anything

Jian^2   :

Jian^2   : well….

Jian^2   : he did not say anything so…

He Tian : Then I assume he must have done something.

He Tian : What was it?

Jian^2   :

Jian^2   : he…

Jian^2   :

Jian^2   : he kissed my forehead

Red       :

Red       : seriously?

Red       : SERIOUSLY???

Red       : GO FUCK YOURSELF

 

_Red left the group chat._

Jian^2   : eh?

Jian^2   : wait what?

He Tian : Your idiocy pushed him down the cliff.

He Tian : I’ve finally seen the power of idiocy

He Tian : Capable of killing.

He Tian : You two are just a pair of idiot couples.

He Tian : Do you know what it means when someone kisses you on the forehead?

Jian^2   : err no

He Tian : Why don’t you look it up if you don’t know about it?

He Tian : Google it up yourself

He Tian : We’ll call you guys out for another basketball match soon

He Tian : Use that to clear your mind a bit.

He Tian : G’night

Jian^2   : WAIT!!!

He Tian : What now

Jian^2   :

Jian^2   : The forehead kiss usually means that you are just friends.

Jian^2   : Depending on how it is planted, it can also be used as a means of showing deep affection to a loved one.

Jian^2   : Most people use it as a starter kiss when they meet someone new, to express that they like them.

Jian^2   : BUT ZHAN XIXI IS NOT NEW!! WHICH IS WHICH???!!!

He Tian :

He Tian : Yeah, an idiot.

He Tian : Ask him yourself!

_He Tian left the group chat._

Jian^2   : hey wait!!!

Jian^2   :

Jian^2   : fml

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, idk what is Old Xian planning and what's in Zhan Zheng Xi's head. Any ideas from yall???


	13. Thanks To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Golden Retriever : I
> 
> Golden Retriever : Don’t
> 
> Golden Retriever : Fucking
> 
> Golden Retriever : Need
> 
> Golden Retriever : It.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM FUCKING BACK RN!!!!!
> 
> Tbh I had wanted to update this asap when I saw oldxian updating it, but I soon forgotten bout it thanks to work *groans*
> 
> But then when I read the latest update I went "FUCK YEAH I REALLY GOTTA GET THIS SHIT DONE" and so TA-DA HERE IT IS!!!!!!!!

White Sadaharu               : Zhan Xi Xi

White Sadaharu               : you sure you’d b ok alone?

White Sadaharu               : need me 2 help?

White Sadaharu               : in

White Sadaharu               : *AHEM*

Golden Retriever             : What

Golden Retriever             : The

Golden Retriever             : Flying

Golden Retriever             : Fuck.

Golden Retriever             : I woke up to your crotch at my face.

Golden Retriever             : And all I need was some time to relieve the shock I had

Golden Retriever             : Not for you

Golden Retriever             : To attack my buddy down there.

White Sadaharu              : bt we’re bros yo

White Sadaharu              : gotta knw d situation of our best bros

Golden Retriever             : I

Golden Retriever             : Don’t

Golden Retriever             : Fucking

Golden Retriever             : Need

Golden Retriever             : It.

White Sadaharu              :

White Sadaharu              : (*꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ)

White Sadaharu              : dun b so heartless

White Sadaharu               : u wer rly cute ths morning

White Sadaharu              : all i wanted ws 2 take a pic of u

_White Sadaharu sent an image._

White Sadaharu              : lookatchu lookatchu

White Sadaharu              : fckin adorbs!!!

White Sadaharu              : <3

Golden Retriever             :

White Sadaharu              : looooookkkkk!!!!

White Sadaharu              : u wer sucking yr thumb!!!!!

White Sadaharu              : <3

Black Rottweiler              : Jian Yi

Black Rottweiler              : Are you fucking done?

Black Rottweiler              : It’s a Sunday for fuck’s sake

Black Rottweiler              : And I’m up at 8 in the fucking morning

Black Rottweiler              : Thanks to the bunch of messages you sent

Black Rottweiler              : You kept us up all night

Black Rottweiler              : And now this shit?

Black Rottweiler              : Tbh I don’t expect any gratitude or what

Black Rottweiler              : But waking Redhead and I up

Black Rottweiler              : You sure do have a death wish eh?

White Sadaharu              : err no….???

Black Rottweiler              : Since I’m such a lovely and supporting friend

Black Rottweiler              : I shall assist you on that trip.

_Black Rottweiler sent an image._

_Black Rottweiler sent an image._

_Black Rottweiler sent an image._

White Sadaharu              : OIIIIIIII

White Sadaharu              : SHIT

White Sadaharu              : FUCK

White Sadaharu              : u asshat do u rly need to??????

White Sadaharu              : nw thrs no meaning in having a pm!!!!

Black Rottweiler              : You actually have the guts to ask me on the need to do this??

White Sadaharu              : errrrrr….. uh……..

Golden Retriever             :

Golden Retriever             : Jian Yi

Golden Retriever             : I’m sorry for putting you through this

White Sadaharu              : no its nt bcz of this

White Sadaharu              : URGGGHHHH

White Sadaharu              : idek hw 2 explain ths ( > . < )

Black Rottweiler              : Another one to spice up your life for today.

_Black Rottweiler sent an image._

White Sadaharu              :

White Sadaharu              : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

White Sadaharu              : FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!

White Sadaharu              : HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET YOUR HANDS ON THIS???!!!!

Golden Retriever             :

Black Rottweiler              : Wow perfect grammar with correct spellings.

Golden Retriever             : ^

Golden Retriever             : But also I don’t want to know how He Tian has that picture

Golden Retriever             : And I’m doubting myself right now

Golden Retriever             : Thanks to you.

Golden Retriever             : I shouldn’t have brought you back to my room.

Red Setter                         : oho?

Red Setter                         : i heard smth

Red Setter                         : brought him bck to yr room eh?

Red Setter                         : pls tell me yall slept in the same bed

Red Setter                         : *scoffs*

Red Setter                         : wht nw?

Red Setter                         : havin fun after a night’s cry?

White Sadaharu              : errrr

White Sadaharu              : nope…..?

Red Setter                         : heh

Black Rottweiler              : Heh.

Golden Retriever             : Heh

White Sadaharu              : Zhan Xi Xi!!!!

White Sadaharu              : TT^TT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I not be sorry for taking this long to update this? Also I'm working on smth about Redhead as well, but it's in Mandarin lmao.
> 
> If everything turns out well I'll do my best to write it in English too so no worries, but I ain't guaranteeing anything rn :D
> 
> Peace out yos!


	14. Childhood Friends™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> White Sadaharu : Zhan Xi Xi
> 
> White Sadaharu : we’r Childhood Friends™!
> 
> Golden Retriever : Childhood friends my ASS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So..... I'm finally back.
> 
> I'm so sorry that I have put this back for like... months.
> 
> Wow.... but yeah I'll try to be consistent and all
> 
> Have a read at this new chapter!!

Golden Retriever            : Fuck

Golden Retriever             : I’m seriously questioning my intellect

Golden Retriever             : And my brain.

Black Rottweiler              : Ssup?

Golden Retriever             : How did I get to know this shit??

Black Rottweiler              : Good question.

Black Rottweiler              : Don’t tell me you don’t know the answer though.

Golden Retriever             :

White Sadaharu              : Zhan Xi Xi

White Sadaharu              : we’r Childhood Friends™!

Golden Retriever             : Childhood friends my ASS!

White Sadaharu              : we r tho

White Sadaharu              : no denyin it

White Sadaharu              : i stil hv pics of our days in kindergarten

White Sadaharu              : lemme find ‘em

Black Rottweiler              : Oh?

Red Setter                       : sounds fun

Red Setter                       : i’m getting popcorn

Golden Retriever             : What the fuck??

Golden Retriever             : JIAN YI!!!

Golden Retriever             : GET THE FUCK BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!

_White Sadaharu sent an image._

_White Sadaharu sent an image._

Golden Retriever             : Bloody fuck!

_Golden Retriever left the group chat._

White Sadaharu              : ZHAN XI XI!!

White Sadaharu              : com bck!!!

Black Rottweiler              : To be honest

Black Rottweiler              : This dude is fun to mess with

Red Setter                       : pics all saved

Red Setter                       : u guys wait 4 it tmr

White Sadaharu              : hwt the…

Black Rottweiler              : Listen to your hubbie, okay?

White Sadaharu              : FUCK OFF!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, I KNOW.
> 
> But hey, I have another chapter ready as well!


	15. Sharing is Caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Golden Retriever : Is there a time when you’re not this excited?
> 
> White Sadaharu : NO
> 
> Golden Retriever : Heh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's actually so much shorter than the previous chapter but I've already gotten this done so stick with it HAH

White Sadaharu              : HEY!!!!!!

White Sadaharu              : GUESS WHAT I FOUND!!!!!!

Golden Retriever             : Is there a time when you’re not this excited?

White Sadaharu              : NO

Golden Retriever             : Heh

Golden Retriever             : Anyways, shoot

White Sadaharu              : i saw a pic on weibo!!!

White Sadaharu              : it ws my fav model doin photoshoot

White Sadaharu              : guess hu i saw???

Golden Retriever             : Idc

White Sadaharu              : HE TIAN

White Sadaharu              : AND

White Sadaharu              : REDHEAD!!!!!

White Sadaharu              : dey thn left tgt, according to the model

White Sadaharu              : WHERE ARE YOU TWO I NEED DEETS!!!!

Golden Retriever             : Oho?

Golden Retriever             : I smell a story here

Golden Retriever             : @Black Rottweiler

Golden Retriever             : We need updates.

Golden Retriever             : C’mon

Golden Retriever             : Sharing is caring.

White Sadaharu               : deets deets deets!!

Black Rottweiler              : Fuck you all.

White Sadaharu              : u’r welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still haven't wrote the continuation of this in English, but for any who understands Chinese, you can read it in the other one I posted. I hope I could be quick in translating/writing it but all eyes are on me, from people within my department and from other departments. Yikes. But I'll do my best. 
> 
> See ya!!


	16. Private Message (A)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He Tian added Jian^2, Puffed into a chat group.
> 
> He Tian : You two.
> 
> He Tian : Does any of you know about the past of Redhead?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sneaks*
> 
> Here it is.

_He Tian added Jian^2, Puffed into a chat group._

He Tian : You two.

He Tian : Does any of you know about the past of Redhead?

Jian^2   : Redhead’s past?

Jian^2   : hw d hell wld we knw

Puffed  : If someone is to know about his past

Puffed  : Wouldn’t it be you?

Puffed  : You could try hiring a private detective to search about him

Jian^2   : tru tru tru

Jian^2   : u n ur cash

Jian^2   : ths wld b more like u

Jian^2   : hiring a detective

He Tian : Say some more and you’ll be the target

Jian^2   : LMAAAAOOOOO

Jian^2   : whai bother

Jian^2   : jz ask ur brother

Jian^2   : dumbass

Puffed  :

Puffed  : But then

Puffed  : Why would you ask this question out of the blue?

He Tian :

He Tian : I saw Redhead doing some moving and transportation, so I invited him out for dinner

He Tian : But once we enter, he was all tensed up

He Tian : He was shaking uncontrollably and just left the seat

He Tian : His eyes were red

He Tian : He even vomited outside

Jian^2   : isn tht anxiety?

He Tian : High possibility

He Tian : As though that place brought upon a terrifying memory he wanted to forget.

He Tian : So since you guys are closer to him

He Tian : Here I am to ask

Jian^2   : first of all

Jian^2   : we gt close whn we helped him out last time

Jian^2   : we were stil yelling at each others throats at tht time

Jian^2   : second

Jian^2   : d 1 he shld be familiar is u, isn it?

Jian^2   : u wer d 1 dragging Reddy in2 our circle

Jian^2   : third

Jian^2   : no wait

Jian^2   : it shld be 2.5

Jian^2   : anyways

Jian^2   : if u rly wnt 2 ask sm1

Jian^2   : it shld b She Li, shldnt it?

Jian^2   : thts all frm me, tq for coming to my TedTalk.

He Tian :

Puffed  : Such a rare sight for Jian Yi to be sharing his “wisdom”

Jian^2   : WOI

Puffed  : But I have to agree with him

Puffed  : If you’d like to ask someone around him

Puffed  : It would be better if you could ask She Li or Redhead’s mother.

Puffed  : If you’d like to perform a search

Puffed  : Don’t let Redhead find out about it

He Tian :

He Tian : Got it

Jian^2   : Go tit

He Tian : Fuck off.

Puffed  : It’s all on you now

Jian^2   : Reddy is p unstable rn

Jian^2   : dun agitate him

Jian^2   : or he leaves w/o GOODBYE

Jian^2   : thn u no1 cook 4 u 2 eat

Puffed  : True

Puffed  : But it’s pretty unexpected

Puffed  : Redhead could cook decently

Puffed  : Even with that personality of his

He Tian : Don’t try to get into this

He Tian : He cooks mainly for me even if he cooks.

Jian^2   : tsk

Puffed  : Tsk.

He Tian : Fuck off.

Jian^2   : wanting 2

_Jian^2 left the group chat._

Puffed  : Don’t act on impulse

Puffed  : Give him some time

Puffed  : But remember to let him know

Puffed  : That you would not abandon him

He Tian : Go tit

He Tian : Got it**

Puffed  : I’m screenshotting it

He Tian :

Puffed  : Bye.

_Puffed left the group chat._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright now I'm done with this I'd probably disappear for another while till inspiration hits me or something. Also, I'll be having my JLPT in a few weeks so I'd definitely have no time to be up here so see you when I see you
> 
> *dabs out*


	17. ARE YOU IN LOVE??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> White Sadaharu : oi
> 
> White Sadaharu : Redhead
> 
> White Sadaharu : ARE YOU IN LOVE???
> 
> Red Setter : fuxk you!
> 
> Red Setter : your d one in love!
> 
> Red Setter : you and fucking everyone around you!!
> 
> White Sadaharu : which includes u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy so I'm back after approximately a month!!! The JLPT was terrible for me and I don't think I could pass (for the third time), but I hope my scores could improve hhhhh
> 
> Anyways.... Here's another self-indulgence of mine so..... Have fun reading ig?
> 
> Also, do remember to read until the end, or at least, scroll down to the end notes.

White Sadaharu                : oi

White Sadaharu                : Redhead

White Sadaharu                : ARE YOU IN LOVE???

Red Setter                        : fuxk you!

Red Setter                        : your d one in love!

Red Setter                        : you and fucking everyone around you!!

White Sadaharu                : which includes u

White Sadaharu                : n also

White Sadaharu                : you’re*

Red Setter                        : FUCK YOU

Red Setter                        : o0o

White Sadaharu                : ahahahahaha

White Sadaharu                : looks like sm1 is angryyyyy

Black Rottweiler               : I think it’s hangry instead.

White Sadaharu                : huh??

Black Rottweiler               : Hungry angry, hangry.

White Sadaharu                : OOOHHHHHHH

White Sadaharu                : wait

White Sadaharu                : u ddnt eat??

Red Setter                        : i did

Black Rottweiler               : He did.

Black Rottweiler               : Apparently, he doesn’t eat cheese

Black Rottweiler               : So I gotta get him something else.

Golden Retriever              : Wow so nice.

Black Rottweiler               : I am nice.

Golden Retriever              : Questionable.

Golden Retriever              : Also, what did I miss?

White Sadaharu                : Redhead is in love heheheee

Golden Retriever              : Oh?

Golden Retriever              : Where did you heard that from?

White Sadaharu                : i saw it!!

White Sadaharu                : jst earlier

White Sadaharu                : Redhead ws sittng earlier wit a monk classmate of his

White Sadaharu                : they seem to be looking at some girl at the field

White Sadaharu                : AND I STG

White Sadaharu                : Redhead’s expression ws priceless

White Sadaharu                : he ws petrified like a stone

White Sadaharu                : n after tht

White Sadaharu                : HE BLUSHED

White Sadaharu                : n yelled at his classmate

White Sadaharu                : n walked away

White Sadaharu                : u shldve seen their faces

White Sadaharu                : epic AF

Golden Retriever              : When did you saw them?

White Sadaharu                : recess time

White Sadaharu                : rmb i went to the toilet?

Golden Retriever              : Oh…

White Sadaharu                : they wer sittin p far off

White Sadaharu                : so i couldn hear their convo

Black Rottweiler               : Mo Guan Shan

Black Rottweiler               : Don’t Close Mountain

White Sadaharu                : LMAOOOOOOO

Black Rottweiler               : Disappeared?

_Red Setter has left the group chat._

Golden Retriever              : You’ve been pushing him too much.

White Sadaharu                : ya ya yayayaya

Black Rottweiler               : As if you’re in any place to say.

Golden Retriever              : I

Golden Retriever              : I’m doubting this friendship I have here.

Black Rottweiler               : So do I.

White Sadaharu                : wait wait wait WHUT???

_Red Setter has been added into the group chat._

Red Setter                        : WTF DO YOU WANT

Red Setter                        : o0o

White Sadaharu                : dude

White Sadaharu                : take yr husband away wit u

White Sadaharu                : dnt let him poison Zhan Xi Xi

Red Setter                        :

Red Setter                        : who tf is my husband

Red Setter                        : deal with it yrself

_Red Setter has left the group chat._

White Sadaharu                : da heck??

Golden Retriever              : Heh.

Black Rottweiler               : Heh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayh..... So I think that it's about time..... For them to have nickname changes!!! YEEEEE
> 
> But I suck at thinking nicknames, like seriously.... I'm like wanting to change mine but I have no idea what to change into since the one I wanted was already claimed tsk.
> 
> Anyways, do comment any themes or ideas or whatever random things you can think of! I find inspiration in the most random things ever so help me out here pwease???
> 
> Ahahahahaha once again thanks for reading until the end!! <3


	18. HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> White Sadaharu : IT’S FUCKING CHRISTMAS!!!!
> 
> Golden Retriever : So what?
> 
> Golden Retriever : We don’t celebrate Christmas in China.
> 
> White Sadaharu : whut
> 
> White Sadaharu : w h u t ?!
> 
> White Sadaharu : WHAIIIII???!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm an extremely terrible person and I'm posting about Christmas two months later. Real life is shit and due to some reasons, I removed my stuffs from my company laptop and I forgotten to back up my files in Google Drive. Smart me, I know. But hey, I'm still back.
> 
> I've completed quite a few for the original (Chinese) chatfic, but I will do my best to make sure I post another chapter next week. It's gonna be a short one but I'll try my best in making it longer (?) I'll try. Also, please rest assured, I already have a couple of ideas down so I'd defo post some shit up.
> 
> To those who are reading this, thank you for waiting for me. Have fun!

White Sadaharu           : HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

White Sadaharu           : MERRY CHRISSY!!!!

White Sadaharu           : IT’S FUCKING CHRISTMAS!!!!

Golden Retriever          : So what?

Golden Retriever          : We don’t celebrate Christmas in China.

White Sadaharu           : whut

White Sadaharu           : **_w h u t ?!_**

White Sadaharu           : WHAIIIII???!!!!

White Sadaharu           : Christmas is whn u celebrate wit yr loved ones!!!

White Sadaharu           : it needs 2 b made in2 a national holiday!!!

Red Setter                    :

Red Setter                    : i cant believe this dude is mixing up Xmas and Valentines

Black Rottweiler           : Same.

Golden Retriever          : Same

Golden Retriever          : I’ve stopped correcting him since we were 12

White Sadaharu           : ZHAN XI XI

White Sadaharu           : WHAI U FUCKING BETREI ME

White Sadaharu           : ಥ_ಥ

Golden Retriever          : In fact

Golden Retriever          : I think I’ve given up on him

Black Rottweiler           : He’s practically irredeemable.

Black Rottweiler           : So you’re stuck with him.

Golden Retriever          : Yeah

Red Setter                    :

Red Setter                    : need some luck?

White Sadaharu           : id prefer sum fuc

Red Setter                    :

_Red Setter left the group chat._

White Sadaharu           : eyyyyy

White Sadaharu           : whr did he go?!

White Sadaharu           : u cnt leave everytime i meme

White Sadaharu           : also

_White Sadaharu changed his nickname to Let It Go, Let It Snow._

Let It Go, Let It Snow   : better

Let It Go, Let It Snow   : its chrismassy

Golden Retriever          : You should be grateful that your hair is white

Golden Retriever          : Not many could see the dandruff falling off your hair

Let It Go, Let It Snow   : ???!!!!

Let It Go, Let It Snow   : i dont have them!!!!

Black Rottweiler           : Tsk tsk tsk.

Golden Retriever          : He doesn’t have them

Golden Retriever          : But wouldn’t that be hilarious if he does?

Black Rottweiler           : True.

Let It Go, Let It Snow   : BINCH

_Let It Go, Let It Snow changed his nickname to ELSA._

ELSA                            : BOW BEFORE ME YOU PEASANTS!!!

Golden Retriever          :

Black Rottweiler           :

Golden Retriever          : He Tian do something

Black Rottweiler           : Why me?

ELSA                            : GUYS DON IGNORE MIIIIIIII

Golden Retriever          : Cuz you’re the admin and admin privileges

Black Rottweiler           : Valid.

Black Rottweiler           : Give me a mo.

ELSA                            : EXCUSE YOU

Golden Retriever          : Bing me once you’re done. I’m setting this chat on mute

ELSA                            : @Golden Retriever

ELSA                            : @Golden Retriever

ELSA                            : @Golden Retriever

ELSA                            : @Golden Retriever

ELSA                            : @Golden Retriever

ELSA                            : @Golden Retriever

ELSA                            : @Golden Retriever

ELSA                            : @Golden Retriever

ELSA                            : WHAI IS HE NOT RESPONDING TO ME

_ELSA changed his nickname to I SHALL REPENT._

Black Rottweiler           : @Golden Retriever

Black Rottweiler           : There you go.

I SHALL REPENT            : WHAI CANT I FUCKING CHANGE IT BACK

I SHALL REPENT            : FUCK YOU!!!

Black Rottweiler           : Not interested.

I SHALL REPENT            : I MEANT IT IN A FIGURATIVE WAY

Black Rottweiler           : Still not interested.

_Black Rottweiler added Red Setter into the group chat._

Black Rottweiler           : I avenged you.

Red Setter                     : him repenting isn’t enuf

Red Setter                     : burn all those magazines in his room

Red Setter                     : those porn ones

I SHALL REPENT            : I SHALL REPENT         

I SHALL REPENT            : spare me please o big lord master-sama

Golden Retriever              : That is gold, He Tian

Golden Retriever              : By the way

Golden Retriever              : Redhead

Golden Retriever              : How did you know about Jian Yi’s secret stash?

Red Setter                    : i was at his place few days ago and i found them hidden in his laundry basket

Golden Retriever              :

Golden Retriever              : ……

Golden Retriever              : Okay…

Black Rottweiler           : Redhead

Black Rottweiler           : We need to talk.

_Red Setter has left the group chat._

I SHALL REPENT           : lmao

I SHALL REPENT           : shits gettin real dude

Golden Retriever             : Sit at the corner and repent.

I SHALL REPENT           : yes mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if I have mentioned it here before, but I kinda promised to write something for Redhead. 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **_AND I FUCKING DID!!!_ ******


	19. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I SHALL REPENT :
> 
> Golden Retriever :
> 
> Black Rottweiler : 10 points for Zhan Zheng Xi.
> 
> Black Rottweiler : Also, I’d take up your offer, Redhead.
> 
> Red Setter :
> 
> _Red Setter has left the group chat._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter a week, so I'm updating this on a Monday (my time lmao)
> 
> I'm doing my best to be consistent so I really really appreciate those who stayed with me. Yeet

I SHALL REPENT : HEY HEY HEY!!!

I SHALL REPENT : TO ALL IDIOTS

I SHALL REPENT : (INCLUDING ME)

I SHALL REPENT : HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I SHALL REPENT : YEEEAAAAAAHHHH

I SHALL REPENT : @Black Rottweiler wil u b playin fire crackers?

Black Rottweiler : Yeah

Black Rottweiler : We’re playing them right now

I SHALL REPENT : we???

Black Rottweiler : Redhead and I

Black Rottweiler : Will you guys be coming over?

I SHALL REPENT : yeap!!

I SHALL REPENT : we’re on our way

Red Setter : why are u two together?

I SHALL REPENT : my mom is working overtime 2day

I SHALL REPENT : so i had dindin at Zhan Xi Xi’s!

Black Rottweiler : Okay

Black Rottweiler : Drop a message when you guys reached.

Black Rottweiler : I’ll send Redhead let you guys in.

Red Setter : fuck me

Red Setter : dude im not a pokemon for u to call out or shit

Golden Retriever : You’re not a pokemon.

I SHALL REPENT : ure a fuckin watchdog

Golden Retriever : You’re his wife

I SHALL REPENT : 

Golden Retriever :

Black Rottweiler : 10 points for Zhan Zheng Xi.

Black Rottweiler : Also, I’d take up your offer, Redhead.

Red Setter : 

_ Red Setter has left the group chat. _

I SHALL REPENT : welp

I SHALL REPENT : well just dm redhead l8r

Golden Retriever : Yeah

Golden Retriever : It would be much better.

Golden Retriever : We’ll get some apple pies on the way.

Black Rottweiler : Thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know, this chapter is short af. So I'm actually thinking of posting the next chapter prolly later this week? But the next chapter is still in construction so I'm not so sure yet lmao. Although the chapter after this is done. Yesh the sequence is a helluva mess. (I follow the Chinese shit I drabbled that's why.)
> 
>  
> 
> Psst... When do you think I should post about He Tian and Redhead stuff I mentioned? Next month? XD
> 
> Also, if there's any questions you can hit me up on : https://mochivaytion.tumblr.com/ask   
> My tumblr is practically dead but I still do scroll through them dw lmao
> 
> See you later!! (prolly this week but promises promises)


	20. Mystic Messenger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I SHALL REPENT : ive been scrolling thru weibo
> 
> I SHALL REPENT : n d girls in our class hv been yellin abt a new character??
> 
> Golden Retriever : Oh
> 
> Golden Retriever : Mystic Messenger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos help me to get shit done faster but I'm just compensating for yest's update, which was super short.

I SHALL REPENT : hu’s Ray?

Golden Retriever : What?

I SHALL REPENT : ive been scrolling thru weibo

I SHALL REPENT : n d girls in our class hv been yellin abt a new character??

Golden Retriever : Oh

Golden Retriever : Mystic Messenger.

Red Setter : whats that

Black Rottweiler : A game

Black Rottweiler : Targeted to ladies.

Golden Retriever : A dating sim, in simple words.

I SHALL REPENT : whai cnt they ge t a real guy?

Golden Retriever : Real guys like us?

Golden Retriever : I doubt they are masochist

Golden Retriever : Although those who choose Saeran’s route are

Golden Retriever : Maybe.

I SHALL REPENT : gays** like us

I SHALL REPENT : also

I SHALL REPENT : hus Saeran?

Red Setter : can u google it up yrself?

Red Setter : its like

Red Setter : **_E V E R Y W H E R E_**

Black Rottweiler : I agree to what Redhead said.

Golden Retriever : It’s literally everywhere.

Golden Retriever : My sister has a couple of dating sims on her phones

Golden Retriever : Including MM and a newly released Love and Producer.

Black Rottweiler : Ah that.

Black Rottweiler : I can’t think of people being more cray over animated characters other than us Chinese.

Black Rottweiler : And I mean it.

Golden Retriever : I second to it.

Black Rottweiler : And nominations are closed.

Red Setter : i feel like im missing out a lot

Red Setter : whts going on?

Red Setter :

Red Setter : scratch tht

Red Setter : its better not knowin

Black Rottweiler : Too late.

I SHALL REPENT : WE’RE GUNNA BRING U DOWN

Golden Retriever : What do you think about dating sims?

Red Setter : ???

Red Setter : huh?

Black Rottweiler : He doesn’t need any dating sims.

Golden Retriever : Why?

Black Rottweiler : He has me, so he should focus on me.

Red Setter : **_fuck you_**

_ Red Setter has left the group chat. _

Golden Retriever : He Tian

Golden Retriever : You’re more of a combination of Han Jumin and Choi Saeran

Golden Retriever : Redhead needs to be exposed to other types as well for him to make his pick.

Golden Retriever : Be fair.

Black Rottweiler : He still will choose me in the end.

Black Rottweiler : Real is better than all these animated characters.

I SHALL REPENT : OBJECTION!

I SHALL REPENT : yr honor, allow me to speak on court

Golden Retriever : Permission granted.

I SHALL REPENT : 2D animation is whr we find **_solace and peace_** and we were saved by them.

I SHALL REPENT : i rest my case.

Golden Retriever :

Golden Retriever : That’s not enough but okay.

Black Rottweiler : I’m richer so who cares

Golden Retriever : True

I SHALL REPENT : tru

I SHALL REPENT : imma dl MM, Love and Producer, Tabikaeru on Redhead’s phone

Black Rottweiler : Ah the frog game.

Black Rottweiler : He already has that game.

I SHALL REPENT : HE IS MY BFF NOW

Golden Retriever : What about me?

I SHALL REPENT : Boyfriend

I SHALL REPENT : BYE TTYL

Golden Retriever :

Golden Retriever : And… He’s offline.

Black Rottweiler : Hm.

Golden Retriever : Good luck getting Redhead’s attention.

Black Rottweiler : Duh.

Golden Retriever : Yeah right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another self-indulging shit lmao. The original (Chinese) was based on another dating sim that was in Chinese, and I doubt that the English speaking community knows about them... So... I fused quite a few games in this self-indulgent shit I do.
> 
> Also, I love the four dorks and I'll see you guys prolly next week!


	21. Do you know da wae™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I SHALL REPENT : FUCK YALL
> 
> Black Rottweiler : Fuck?
> 
> Black Rottweiler : Sure you can
> 
> Black Rottweiler : But first,
> 
> Black Rottweiler : Do you know da wae?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES I AM A PIECE OF SHIT

I SHALL REPENT : GAIS

I SHALL REPENT : WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

I SHALL REPENT : [image.jpg](http://chapter-media.betterjournalism.org/sites/31/2018/01/14005121/Screen-Shot-2018-01-13-at-6.49.01-PM-525x550.png)

I SHALL REPENT : WHAI THE FUCK?!!

Golden Retriever : Oh

Golden Retriever : Do you know da wae™.

Golden Retriever : Yeah it’s pretty epic

I SHALL REPENT : WHAT THE FUCK???!!!

I SHALL REPENT : ok tbh

I SHALL REPENT : i hv alwys thuhgt of myself s d best memer here

I SHALL REPENT : BUT WHAI AM I NOT UNDERSTANDING A SINGLE SHIT OF THIS???

Red Setter : u dont try to understand d meme

Red Setter : u ride along with it

Red Setter : u dont choose the meme

Red Setter : the meme chooses u

I SHALL REPENT : WHAT THE FUCK?!!

Black Rottweiler : Oh

Black Rottweiler : Perfect spelling

Golden Retriever : Yeah

Golden Retriever : He must’ve been really shocked

Golden Retriever : Or he’s on his PC

Black Rottweiler : Or both

Golden Retriever : True.

Red Setter : wtf

Red Setter : using QQ on PC?

Golden Retriever : Yeah

Golden Retriever : For games purposes

Red Setter : tht explains the uganda knuckles shit

Golden Retriever : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Black Rottweiler : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

I SHALL REPENT : WHAT THE FUCK GAIS??

Red Setter : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

I SHALL REPENT : ???!!!

I SHALL REPENT : o0o

I SHALL REPENT : FUCK YALL

Black Rottweiler : Fuck?

Black Rottweiler : Sure you can

Black Rottweiler : But first,

Black Rottweiler : _Do you know da wae?_

I SHALL REPENT : I SWEAR TO FUCKING SONIC THAT I WILL END YOUR SORRY ASS YOU STALE PIECE OF BREAD

Golden Retriever : Now _that_ he knows.

I SHALL REPENT : IM THE FUCKIN MEME DICTIONARY YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Golden Retriever : Not convincing.

Red Setter : not at all

Red Setter : also

Red Setter : add me back once the chaos is over

Red Setter : wait

Red Setter : dont add me at all

_Red Setter has left the group chat._

_Black Rottweiler has added Red Setter into the group chat._

Red Setter : fuck you

_Red Setter has left the group chat._

Black Rottweiler : I wanted to say I’d gladly accept the proposition.

Black Rottweiler : But he left too quick.

Black Rottweiler : I guess I missed my chance

I SHALL REPENT : U MISSED EVERY FUCKIN CHANCE U PIECE OF SHIT

_I SHALL REPENT has changed his nickname to BEYOND REPENTANCE._

BEYOND REPENTANCE : FUCK U HE TIAN!!!!

Black Rottweiler : Like I said before

Black Rottweiler : Not interested.

Golden Retriever : I agree with the nickname wholeheartedly.

Black Rottweiler : Thank you

Black Rottweiler : I’m glad someone here appreciates it.

Golden Retriever : You’re welcome.

BEYOND REPENTANCE : FUCK U BOTH!!!

Black Rottweiler : Not interested.

Golden Retriever : Good luck.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh I have no ideas what memes are and how memes work but I'm rolling with it I guess ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	22. Where's my Valentine's gift?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black Rottweiler : Redhead
> 
> Black Rottweiler : Where is my Valentine’s gift?
> 
> Red Setter : heh
> 
> Red Setter : ask it from yr right hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _dogeza ___
> 
> __I'm so sorry for being a piece of shit and this took wayyyyyyyyyyy too long to get on here_ _
> 
> __ps: do not google search things that you do not know please_ _

Black Rottweiler              : Redhead

Black Rottweiler              : Where is my Valentine’s gift?

Red Setter                       : heh

Red Setter                       : ask it from yr right hand

Golden Retriever             :

BEYOND REPENTANCE   :

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : HOLY SHEET

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : THE BURN!!!

Red Setter                       : or maybe

Red Setter                       : you should get her a glove

Red Setter                       : or maybe

Red Setter                       : a tenga

Golden Retriever             :

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : i

REYOND REPENTANCE   : Redhead

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : are u ok

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : u sound like u ate a bomb

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : or prolly a whole bag of salt

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : perhaps both

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : explosive and salty

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : af

Red Setter                       : me?

Red Setter                       : explosive?

Red Setter                       : lmao

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : Zhan Xi Xi………

Golden Retriever             : Prolly because he found out He Tian had been receiving gifts from girls this morning

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : ????!!!!!

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : HE TIAN!!!!!

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : ARE YOU FOR REALS???

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : LIKE FUCKING

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : HOW UNFAIR IT IS TO YOUR HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!

Red Setter                       : I’m not his husband

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : HE’S FILING A FUCKING DIVORCE

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : DO SOMETHING

Red Setter                         : fuck

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : get your husband

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : no wait

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : NOT THE POINT

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!

Golden Retriever             : You sound like a Dalek

Golden Retriever             : Is that supposed to be a pun?

Golden Retriever             : Cuz you suck at it

Red Setter                         : he sucks at everything

BEYOND REPENTENCE   : Zhan Xi Xi stop calling me out

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : and Redhead

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Red Setter                         : shit

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : innuendo game goin strong ey

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : NO BUT HE TIAN

Black Rottweiler              : Am I having the mic now?

Black Rottweiler              : I am.

Black Rottweiler              : So……

Black Rottweiler              : I told them I have an s/o and refused their gifts.

Black Rottweiler              : Then they said that they knew about it and wanted me to feed it to Mo Guan Shan.

Black Rottweiler              : They even knew it’s him.

Black Rottweiler              : Apparently they saw us making out behind the school.

Black Rottweiler              : They also said that to make sure Redhead can’t stand in the morning.

Black Rottweiler              : You know.

Black Rottweiler              : Bet they are glad that their love rival is not of the same gender.

Black Rottweiler              : Some of them even have alcohol in it.

Black Rottweiler              : And yeah, Redhead ate them.

Black Rottweiler              : I think he’s pissed cuz he saw the letters, which included him in it.

Black Rottweiler              : And he got embarrassed.

Red Setter                         :

_Red Setter has left the group chat._

Black Rottweiler              : Whoops.

Black Rottweiler              : Looks like he got embarrassed.

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : i wanna say tmi

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : bt ther isn’t a thing like that in our chat

Golden Retriever             : Tbh.

Black Rottweiler              : Anyways.

Black Rottweiler              : I gotta do my job as his s/o and get him out of the room for our candlelight dinner.

Black Rottweiler              : Talk to you guys later.

BEYOND REPENTANCE   :

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : these two…….

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : what a dynamic duo

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : ANYWAYS

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : ZHAN XI XI

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : WHERE IS MY VALENTINE’S GIFT

Golden Retriever             : Non-existent.

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT

Golden Retriever             : You didn’t get me a thing anyways

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS

Golden Retriever             : Meh

BEYOND REPENTANCE   :

Golden Retriever             : Anyways, my family’s not at home

Golden Retriever             : Wanna come over later to chill?

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : !!!

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : CAN I COME NOW????

Golden Retriever             : Yeah sure

Golden Retriever             : Prepare to get rekt tho

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : !!!!

Golden Retriever             : You’re definitely gonna die in Mario Kart

Golden Retriever             : Again.

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : FUCK YOU!!!

Golden Retriever             : Yeah nice try but better luck next time

BEYOND REPENTANCE   : IM ON MY WAY GET YOUR SORRY ASS READY!!!!

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...... Things irl have been shitty and work had been tough and now I've moved to a new office where people of different department can look over my screen easily and istg I have a lot of complaints towards this lack of privacy.
> 
> Also, I hoped none of you googled Tenga... Welp... Google at your own risk hhhhhhhhh
> 
> Another also, I'll try to be as active as I can but no guarantees cuz.... Irl is a fucktruck. 
> 
>  
> 
> Last also, I did something on Redhead so here's the link and I'd appreciate opinions on it thanks  
> : https://archiveofourown.org/works/14817090

**Author's Note:**

> Do let me know what do you think about this fic so I could improve or improve more lol


End file.
